who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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