cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Damn victory sex feels great
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
