He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Randomize
