u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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