I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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