Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
