WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You can make out without kissing
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