dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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