hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
