you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
