Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
