I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
