Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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