i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
