Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
