So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
