Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
