So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
A bitchslap is in order.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
