yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
