the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
pop tarts are not kleenex
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
