When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
