Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
