Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
