I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
