I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Randomize
