Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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