Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
