Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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