On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
