the new term for farting is butt boxing.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
