She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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