She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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