im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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