Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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