her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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