So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
