How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
