North Korea, Best Korea!
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
