i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
