Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
