You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
