So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
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