we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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