I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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