Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
