how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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