He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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