I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
