My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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