The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
