Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
