Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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