dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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