what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
